Music

I've been attempting to write songs again.

I used to have ideas for songs all the time, but would get hung up on lyrics, and than give up on them. I start out with some chords on the Guitar, and then try and sing a melody, and it doesn't go anywhere. When I try to think of words, nothing comes up, and I stop trying.

So I've decided to take a different approach to songwriting.

First, I will write the whole song out musically.

I took the guitar and played a song, including a melody, making sure I can sing it, and then have it mapped out (Verse, Chorus, Bridge, pre-chorus, etc.).

Second, I will write out the lyrics separately.

I've never had a problem writing out poetry. It's not east for me, but it's not super hard, so it's a challenge every time I sit down to write a poem out, but I've never been disappointed with the finished product.

Third, I will find someway to bring the two together.

I haven't gotten this far yet, so I'll report back whenever I get to this step. If I succeed in this step, I might post a song on youtube or something, and is I fall on my face, I'll be posting some new poems up here.

Wish me luck!

The Fountainhead and Culture Making

I've been trying to read as many books as I can since I started my "break" from school, and I've been trying to read as many different books as I can. It must be interesting for my co-workers to see what I've been reading on my breaks, since I went from reading The Walking Dead to The Fountainhead, (with a quick detour with Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth, which was a great book) and I'm currently reading Culture Making by Andy Crouch, which gets to why I am posting this blog in the first place.

I think it was a wise choice to go from The Fountainhead into Culture Making.

When I started reading The Fountainhead, I had heard the main points of the novel from a lot of places. I heard it was a good book for thinking people, and that most Conservative's see this book as a basis for their political ideas. Since I enjoy philosophy and politics, I decided to jump in.

There's a lot going on in The Fountainhead, but one of the parts I took from it was that an artist (in the case of the book, an Architect) shouldn't compromise on anything they make. When they create (buildings, music, writing), they should be going by what they want, and not creating for other people.

The deeper meaning behind this is to be your own person, and not live off someone else. There's a long speech at the end of the book about how people create something for themselves, and how some will just take what someone else worked on and either add to it and say it's their own, or critique it and say how it's not good enough.

Basically it comes down the idea of the Artist verses the Critic, and The Fountainhead places the Artist way above the Critic.

My thoughts on this topic would take a whole other post, but the idea of being a Creator instead of living life Second-hand is something that stuck with me.

So then I picked up Culture Making, a book I got at Urbana two years ago, and saw some very interesting similarities between the two books.

The main point of Culture Making is how Christians shouldn't try to change culture by critiquing or copying culture, but by actively creating culture. Andy Crouch goes into details about what Culture is, what it isn't, and how it's created, While reading the first half, I came across this passage. I think this is quite an observation about society, and not just the Church.

Just so you know what's happening, he's talking about why creating a worldview isn't enough to change culture.

The language of worldview tends to imply, to paraphrase the Catholic writer Richard Rohr, that we can think ourselves into new ways of behaving. But that is not the way culture works. Culture helps us behave ourselves into new ways of thinking. The risk in thinking “worldviewishly” is that we will start to think that the best way to change culture is to analyze it. We will start worldview academies, host worldview seminars, write worldview books. These may have some real value if they help us understand the horizons that our culture shapes, but they cannot substitute for the creation of real cultural goods. And they will subtly tend to produce philosophers rather than plumbers, abstract thinkers instead of artists and artisans. They can create a cultural niche in which “worldview thinkers” are privileged while other kinds of culture makers are shunted aside.

But culture is not changed simply by thinking.

(Sam's note: Now if only people in Washington could understand this idea...)

That's pretty much it for now. I just really liked this quote.

Work and books and church and stuff

After working at Advanced Medical Imaging for two years, I was finally able to transfer to a new area.

I am no longer a Receptionist. I now work in Medical Records.

It's a little more work. I have to remember more, but it's way less stress. I have a more set schedule, I take lunch at the same time everyday, and I don't have to stay late if we're busy (the file room stops answering calls after 5:00, so I'm free after that).

I've also been reading more. Right now I'm currently making my way through The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I'm loving the book so far, but I'm not sure if it's for the same reasons others do. I was gonna try and tackle Atlas Shrugged after this, but after about 500 of the 752 pages of The Fountainhead, I think I'll read something else before I try to digest the 1368 pages of Atlas Shrugged. But I will try to finish it by the end of the year.

"He must become greater; I must become less."

-John 3:30

"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you."

-Oswald Chambers

Now a quick prayer request.

About a month ago, Pastor Tom (our worship pastor at Church) asked me if I'd be interested in leading worship on a Sunday in August. I said sure, but it wasn't until I got to the car that I fully realized what happened. I think I might have accepted his offer in a way that seemed unexcited, but really I was more in shock.

What I need is prayer that I don't get a big head about this.

I'm used to leading worship. This is nothing new for me. In the three years I've been going there, I've lead worship for the college group, children's Sunday School (both with and without a band), the youth group once, and the Men's breakfast and weekend retreat.

All the time, it's been a small group, with the biggest group being a quick set of songs for a Sunday night Missionary service, where I it's not so formal, and there's no pressure. Leading worship for the main church seems more like a big deal, when it really shouldn't be.

Pray that I don't make this service about me, or trying to impress anyone. My job as a worship leader isn't to have people think about how great that song was, or how good my guitar playing is, or good of a singer is; my job is to lead people into the presence of God so they walk away from the service not saying how great things are musically, but how great God is.

I'm leading worship on August 14, so please pray for me that I don't make this about me. I really debated with myself whether or not to even bring it up to anyone, but I figured that all the people that mattered would read this and understand what I'm trying to say without thinking I'm just trying to plug when I'm leading worship. I know what abilities God has blessed me with, and I only want to return those gifts to Him, without thinking that I'm the awesome one.

Love you all, and thanks for reading!

Twitter-fun!

I usually attempt to get out of bed sometime between 7-7:30 Monday through Friday so I can be at work on time at 8:30, but this never works out well. I end up getting out of bed at a quarter to 8:00, take a shower, and leave the apartment running at 8:20, barely making it to work on time.

However, this morning, I had something else wake me me.

I got a text message at 7:21, which always worries me (because last time I woke up to a text message it was because I forgot something at work and my team lead texted me letting me know what to expect when I got there), and it ended up being being this:

@R*******15: @samlopez cuantos tienes dime para negociar

I don't speak Spanish, so of course, I have no clue what this says.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Wait! His last name is 'Lopez', he's from Porterville, and he DOESN'T SPEAK SPANISH?!?!"

You are correct. "No sprechen the Spanish."

Anyway, this is not the first time I received a reply on twitter to the wrong "samlopez" account. At least this one wasn't cussing me out and calling me a "slut/gold digger" (that really did happen).

Of course, I needed to reply (not really "needed", but I really wanted to), but first came the task of translation. So while at work, I typed out the message into Google, went to the Spanish to English translator, and discovered this person said:

"Tell me what you have to negotiate"

Now I really have to reply.

But this can't just be any reply. This reply has to be slightly vague, answer their question, and also be frustrating (since it was in a different language). So, using the same translator, replied with:

"Tengo tres frascos de mayonesa (and you have the wrong twitter account)"

(for those of you that don't speak Spanish, it translates to "I have three jars of mayonnaise")

Hopefully this person has a good sense of humor, otherwise I might be learning some very colorful Spanish words.

Adventures in Working

I'm gonna start a new series on here of various stories with the few jobs I have had. I've only had three real jobs (Outpatient Radiology, Target, and working for my parents' ice cream shop), but I've had some interesting run-ins, threats, and others stories that make people laugh (you find some interesting stuff when you gather shopping carts), so I thought I'd write them out.

I'll post the first one right after this post. Just thought I'd do a quick introduction to this. I plan on writing more, once they come back to me.

Wrong Number (Adventures in Working: 1)

Because I work with insurance companies, I often have to make calls to 800 numbers on the east coast to verify benefits and eligibility, and like most companies that only have east coast offices, they like to close at 5:00pm EST, which makes it hard to verify benefits after 2:00 PST. So it's not unusual for me to leave paperwork to take care of on a later day.

Last week, I was following up on a new worker's comp case that was done on Monday. Since it was an injury done over the weekend they didn't have any of the information, and wouldn't for a couple days, making me have to follow up on it in a few days to make sure everything was good.

So I'm sitting in our little office that we converted from a bathroom into a registration room we have dubbed the "Fishbowl" calling this east coast insurance company when I realize I might have called the wrong number. I then call one of my coworkers:

"Hello?"

"Hey Stacey. Can you come to the Fishbowl?"

"Ugh. I'm working on something."

"I know, but could you just come over here real fast?"

"Why?"

"I need you to… witness something."

"...What?"

"Could you just come here real fast?"

"Fine. I'll be right there."

When she gets there, I explain how I am following up on this workers comp case, and I think I've got the wrong number, and I just wanted her to make sure that I'm typing in the right number, and that I called this number by mistake.

I then turn on the speakerphone, just like I did before (this is a habit I most of us get into. We turn on the speaker phone, dial the number, and pick up the headset once someone comes on the line), dial the number slowly saying each number aloud (1-888-###-####), and then we both hear:

"Oooooohhhh. *giggle* I like it when you…"

Then I hang up.

Stacey's eyes grew big as her jaw dropped, staring at the phone.

"I just wanted you to be here in case someone finds out this number was called, you can be my witness that it was called by mistake, and that I had the wrong number written down."

Of course, Stacey just laughs about it. And why wouldn't she? I was laughing about it, because of course, I would be the one that would write down "888" instead of "800" on a piece of paper that would lead me directly to a different kind of 800 number. And it had to be me sitting in this little room where all sounds echo out into the hallway with a speaker phone on when I dial such a number for various people, both patients and staff, around to hear.

Of course it would be me!

I then call my supervisor to explain what just happened to cover myself incase this would come back to me, and she also got a kick out of it. After it went around that Sam called a dirty talk line and turned bright red, I finally decided to get back to work and call the right number.

I go online, found the right number, called it, and got voice mail.

It was 2:01.

Well, there's always next week!

How I see people (part one)

Today at work, a lady came in for her OB Ultrasound. Nothing out of the ordinary at all, considering I work at a Medical Imaging facility where most patients are women getting either a Mammogram or Ultrasound. However, this one was different.

First thing I noticed was the lady that walked in with the patient was a familiar face, and I realized who she was as she walked through the door. She taught the monthly CPR class held in our conference room for all the Doctor's and Technologists who need to renew their CPR certification every two years. And since I used to work nights, I saw her once a month for two years (Since I'm really bad with names, and shouldn't be saying who these people are anyway, I'll just call her Beth).

I'm not sure where else she works, but it wasn't unusual to see her come in with another patient, either going as an assistant from a doctors office, or some other place. She was with the patient because seventeen weeks into her pregnancy, the patient started having contractions, and her Doctor sent her over right away to get an Ultrasound to see what was going on.

We realized that she needed to be seen right away, and did our part at the front desk and processed her paperwork right away, and one of us walked her upstairs to Ultrasound so she could get seen as soon as possible. Right when my coworker was about to take her up, Beth asked the patient if she wanted her to go with her or wait out in the lobby, and the patient said that she wanted her to go, and in a way that said she needed her to be with her.

They all went upstairs, and about fifteen minutes later we heard an overhead page I hadn't heard in the two and a half years since I started working there.

Being in outpatient radiology (where we are not physically connected to a hospital) we don't really have too hectic of a work environment. Don't get me wrong, there are days when we have more patients then chairs, and babies are crying creating a tense atmosphere where everyone, both workers and patients, with they were someplace else. But it is nowhere near the craziness of a hospital where people coming in have a good chance of being admitted, or are already admitted and have to he handled with care due to their bad immune system or contagious disease they are stuck in the hospital for. When people here use the overhead to page someone, the voice is usually a calm voice trying to connect two people: "Doctor Jones, please call 67655"; "Mammography please call 64092"; "Sam, please call 63117"; something along those lines. However, this voice wasn't calm, and they weren't asking someone to pick up a phone.

"We need a nurse to Ultrasound second floor Stat! Any nurse to Ultrasound second floor stat!"

To the patients in the waiting room, this must have seemed like a normal call, but to everyone working, this wasn't normal.

"That's not good," I said out loud to my coworkers, stating the obvious.

"It must be for that Ultrasound that just went up there," one of my coworkers said back, and my jaw drop. We all knew right then what was going on.

Eventually we found out that once the patient got to the exam room, instead of starting her ultrasound, she started losing her baby. An ambulance was called, one of our radiologists went to the patient, Beth didn’t leave her side, and they all tried to help the patient, even though everyone knew there wasn't much that could be done. The patient was eventually taken out on a stretcher, and EMT took her to the hospital, where her husband and other family members met her, and she did end up miscarrying.

The hardest thing I've found while working in Medical is forgetting that it's people we are working with. A patient will come in, and his name isn't "Frank" or "Bill", he's the "3:00 in MR1" or the "Knee x-ray." When working in medical, it becomes easy to distance yourself from a patient. Everyday someone comes in who is receiving their yearly Mammogram for one breast because cancer had caused one to be removed, or kid comes in with a broken arm that means he won't be playing sports this year for their school. Sad things happen every day, and if I let every single moment get to me, I think I would have quit my job after a month.

One day, a man came in and, while trying to hold back tears, needed to have a copy of the images from a CT scan, because he just came from his doctors office, where he was just told that he had Prostate Cancer and they needed all the medical imaging he's had done recently. I'm standing there, realizing this is probably the first time this guy is saying it out loud, and it is slowly sinking into his mind that the clock he thought was slowly counting down to his death just sped up, and how is he going to tell his family, or friends, and I froze. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Do I say Sorry? Do I try to comfort him? What would I say anyway? What COULD I say?

After he left, I had to step outside for a bit. I couldn't be around anyone else. Of course this didn't happen to me, but it was still tearing me up. It might be easy to separate yourself from a patient, but it's just as easy (if not easier) to feel overcome by someone's situation. So, we separate ourselves from others to keep from getting hurt. But then you forget that these are people, and then you get stuck in this vicious circle of feeling bad because you don't care, and then feeling bad because you care too much.

This isn't just limited to the medical field. We tend to make people into objects or obstacles that either need to be conquered or overcome. I know when I'm driving, if I get cut off, I tend to get mad at the car, and want to pass the person up, or at least arrive at the light at the same time to show the offender that they saved no time cutting me off because we both arrived at the stoplight, so all he did was waste gas for no reason. Even when I'm walking, I'll be upset about someone taking their time slowly walking in front of me, and I get around them, making sure they know that I think they are slow and that they have caused me a moment of inconvenience and need to think of others, right before I realized I probably need to slow down and breathe every once and a while.

Other people are human.

1-They feel.