Reading, Lent, and Goals.

"Lent is about renewal, not just removal. God, give us the strength to let go of what's blocking our view of You." - Bob Goff

I'm not Catholic, but every year when Lent comes around I wonder if I'll give up something. Being brought up in Protestant churches my whole life, I didn't know what Lent was. Years back, a church I was attending (my dad was the youth pastor) did Lent, and I understood it to be a time of fasting between Ash Wednesday and Easter. The thought of fasting from something for 40 days seemed fun, but that was about it.

Over the years, I've mostly given up soda. A few years back I gave up alcohol. Both weren't much of a challenge. Still, I don't think I was quite getting it.

Yeah. I'm giving up something. But is that fasting? Or is that just a diet? In that case, I fasted from carbs a couple years ago and lost 20 pounds.

That just doesn't sound right.

I haven't fasted for lent in over three years, and I thought this would be another year of me thinking about what to give up, and deciding to do nothing. Instead, this came up.

As I've said in prior posts, I have a goal of reading at least 10,000 pages in one year, and I've been doing killing it! On March 3 I finished my sixth book, taking my page count to 1669. I'm already off to a great start.

However, I was convicted. Here I am reading all these books, but the one book I say is my favorite, the one I argue and debate with friends about, and the one I base my life around, I don't read at all: I need to read my Bible.

At the start of last year, I started a reading plan to read the Bible in one year reading 3-4 chapters a day and journaling what I read.

I lasted eleven days.

This isn't the first time I tried and failed to read the Bible the whole way through. I once read through the whole New Testament, but had a hard time going through the Old Testament. Before that I started from Genesis and got through half of Exodus. Other than those few failed attempts, reading the Bible on my own has only been to either prepare for a Bible study or find scripture for a worship set, and not just reading it myself.

I recently found an old Bible of mine. I replaced it a few years back because it was falling apart. It was a very important Bible to me, because I took it on four of my five tours with The Continentals, and when I moved to Fresno. I even had my name tag from The Price Is Right stuck on the inside of the back cover. I picked it up, and not only was it worn out, it also had notes all over it. I wrote in the margins, underlined verses, circled words, and also wrote down the date of when I read the chapter.

Why can't I do that again?

Here I am. I was an English/Philosophy Major in college. I wrote all over my textbooks. But for some reason, about the time I started writing in my books, I stopped writing in my Bible.

This year I've been reading a lot, but not my Bible. So for Lent, I'm giving up reading, and reading only my Bible. I'm writing in the margins, underlining passages, circling words and phrases, pointing arrows to linking parts, and basically just wearing out my Bible. I'm not sitting down at a specific time of day, or setting a timer to make sure I read for at least fifteen minutes, or putting so much effort into reading the Bible "the right way", I'm just reading it. If I read one chapter, or if I read a whole book, it doesn't matter. I'll read as much as I can whenever I can. I can find the time throughout the day to read any other book, why not just read the Bible instead. 

I wasn't sure if this sounded pretentious or self-righteous, so I ran it by Michelle. I thought she would tell me how holier-than-thou it sounded, but she was on board! 

"You've been reading so much lately, and it'll be good for you to read your Bible. That sounds like a good plan." (I love my wife.)

I then saw the above quote from Bob Goff on his Instagram, and it helped put Lent into perspective for me. I'm not just removing and replacing something from my life; I'm renewing the passion and thirst for God's Word that I need. I'm not saying "I don't need books", I'm saying "I need more of you God!"

I'm hoping this next month and a half to find that passion and joy I used to have for reading the Bible, while being as intentional about reading as I have with the last 1669 pages.

Work and books and church and stuff

After working at Advanced Medical Imaging for two years, I was finally able to transfer to a new area.

I am no longer a Receptionist. I now work in Medical Records.

It's a little more work. I have to remember more, but it's way less stress. I have a more set schedule, I take lunch at the same time everyday, and I don't have to stay late if we're busy (the file room stops answering calls after 5:00, so I'm free after that).

I've also been reading more. Right now I'm currently making my way through The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I'm loving the book so far, but I'm not sure if it's for the same reasons others do. I was gonna try and tackle Atlas Shrugged after this, but after about 500 of the 752 pages of The Fountainhead, I think I'll read something else before I try to digest the 1368 pages of Atlas Shrugged. But I will try to finish it by the end of the year.

"He must become greater; I must become less."

-John 3:30

"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you."

-Oswald Chambers

Now a quick prayer request.

About a month ago, Pastor Tom (our worship pastor at Church) asked me if I'd be interested in leading worship on a Sunday in August. I said sure, but it wasn't until I got to the car that I fully realized what happened. I think I might have accepted his offer in a way that seemed unexcited, but really I was more in shock.

What I need is prayer that I don't get a big head about this.

I'm used to leading worship. This is nothing new for me. In the three years I've been going there, I've lead worship for the college group, children's Sunday School (both with and without a band), the youth group once, and the Men's breakfast and weekend retreat.

All the time, it's been a small group, with the biggest group being a quick set of songs for a Sunday night Missionary service, where I it's not so formal, and there's no pressure. Leading worship for the main church seems more like a big deal, when it really shouldn't be.

Pray that I don't make this service about me, or trying to impress anyone. My job as a worship leader isn't to have people think about how great that song was, or how good my guitar playing is, or good of a singer is; my job is to lead people into the presence of God so they walk away from the service not saying how great things are musically, but how great God is.

I'm leading worship on August 14, so please pray for me that I don't make this about me. I really debated with myself whether or not to even bring it up to anyone, but I figured that all the people that mattered would read this and understand what I'm trying to say without thinking I'm just trying to plug when I'm leading worship. I know what abilities God has blessed me with, and I only want to return those gifts to Him, without thinking that I'm the awesome one.

Love you all, and thanks for reading!