Reading, Lent, and Goals.

"Lent is about renewal, not just removal. God, give us the strength to let go of what's blocking our view of You." - Bob Goff

I'm not Catholic, but every year when Lent comes around I wonder if I'll give up something. Being brought up in Protestant churches my whole life, I didn't know what Lent was. Years back, a church I was attending (my dad was the youth pastor) did Lent, and I understood it to be a time of fasting between Ash Wednesday and Easter. The thought of fasting from something for 40 days seemed fun, but that was about it.

Over the years, I've mostly given up soda. A few years back I gave up alcohol. Both weren't much of a challenge. Still, I don't think I was quite getting it.

Yeah. I'm giving up something. But is that fasting? Or is that just a diet? In that case, I fasted from carbs a couple years ago and lost 20 pounds.

That just doesn't sound right.

I haven't fasted for lent in over three years, and I thought this would be another year of me thinking about what to give up, and deciding to do nothing. Instead, this came up.

As I've said in prior posts, I have a goal of reading at least 10,000 pages in one year, and I've been doing killing it! On March 3 I finished my sixth book, taking my page count to 1669. I'm already off to a great start.

However, I was convicted. Here I am reading all these books, but the one book I say is my favorite, the one I argue and debate with friends about, and the one I base my life around, I don't read at all: I need to read my Bible.

At the start of last year, I started a reading plan to read the Bible in one year reading 3-4 chapters a day and journaling what I read.

I lasted eleven days.

This isn't the first time I tried and failed to read the Bible the whole way through. I once read through the whole New Testament, but had a hard time going through the Old Testament. Before that I started from Genesis and got through half of Exodus. Other than those few failed attempts, reading the Bible on my own has only been to either prepare for a Bible study or find scripture for a worship set, and not just reading it myself.

I recently found an old Bible of mine. I replaced it a few years back because it was falling apart. It was a very important Bible to me, because I took it on four of my five tours with The Continentals, and when I moved to Fresno. I even had my name tag from The Price Is Right stuck on the inside of the back cover. I picked it up, and not only was it worn out, it also had notes all over it. I wrote in the margins, underlined verses, circled words, and also wrote down the date of when I read the chapter.

Why can't I do that again?

Here I am. I was an English/Philosophy Major in college. I wrote all over my textbooks. But for some reason, about the time I started writing in my books, I stopped writing in my Bible.

This year I've been reading a lot, but not my Bible. So for Lent, I'm giving up reading, and reading only my Bible. I'm writing in the margins, underlining passages, circling words and phrases, pointing arrows to linking parts, and basically just wearing out my Bible. I'm not sitting down at a specific time of day, or setting a timer to make sure I read for at least fifteen minutes, or putting so much effort into reading the Bible "the right way", I'm just reading it. If I read one chapter, or if I read a whole book, it doesn't matter. I'll read as much as I can whenever I can. I can find the time throughout the day to read any other book, why not just read the Bible instead. 

I wasn't sure if this sounded pretentious or self-righteous, so I ran it by Michelle. I thought she would tell me how holier-than-thou it sounded, but she was on board! 

"You've been reading so much lately, and it'll be good for you to read your Bible. That sounds like a good plan." (I love my wife.)

I then saw the above quote from Bob Goff on his Instagram, and it helped put Lent into perspective for me. I'm not just removing and replacing something from my life; I'm renewing the passion and thirst for God's Word that I need. I'm not saying "I don't need books", I'm saying "I need more of you God!"

I'm hoping this next month and a half to find that passion and joy I used to have for reading the Bible, while being as intentional about reading as I have with the last 1669 pages.

I Don't Do Resolutions

When the new year comes, I don't make resolutions.
Instead, I set goals.
I don't know where I got the idea, but I remember seeing somewhere how if you set a goal instead of making a resolution, you have a better chance of accomplishing the change you want in the new year.
This year I have a few goals I wish to reach before the close of 2014.

1 - I want to have a greater presence online.

I have accounts with most social networking sites, including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, and Blogger, but I feel like I spend more time looking at other people's posts, and less posting myself. And whenever I do post anything, I'm just re-posting someone else, or posting I found online, but hardly anything new. So I will be trying to post more updates, pictures, videos, and blogs. I have all these creative outlets, and I'm not utilizing them as much as I should.

2 - I want to run more.

Over a year ago, I started running. After a few months, I started getting really bad shinsplints. I did everything I was supposed to do to get rid of and prevent them, but they kept coming back. After talking with friends who know more about running than me, the culprit is most likely my shoes. I need to get some new ones, but I can't convince myself to spend the $100 for a good pair of kicks, and I don't want to just buy some cheap ones that will just put me back in the same spot within a few months. Before my shoes started betraying me, I was running a 15 minute mile, and the longest was two miles. Before the year ends, I want to be able to run for at least an hour straight.

3 - I want to write more.

I always tell people I'm a writer, and that I want to be a published author, but I can't remember the last time I sat down and seriously wrote out a story. I have a few ideas going all over the place, but they just stay ideas. My goal is to have at least a rough draft of a novel (a really rough draft) or at least three finished short stories by the end of the year.

Of course, I will also still try to read 10,000 pages. Last year I tried reading more non-fiction, which was great, but I think I need to get back to reading more fiction. I was so concerned about learning something from a book, I think I forgot the simple joy of reading a good story, and that you can learn something from a good story.

Day off

I had a day off from work on Tuesday. I could have spent it at home, sitting down in front of the television catching up on shows on Netflix, or watching one of the many movies I have but haven't seen yet, but I decided I needed to have a couple doctor's appointments.

I had my first appointment with my Gastroenterologist in the morning. He is thinking that my enlarged liver and spleen is because of Fatty Liver. This isn't the first time I have had to deal with this. 

About ten years ago, I gave blood for the first time, and it was rejected due to liver enzymes in my blood. This started some good times with visits to the doctor where I had Fatty Liver, and after some diet and exercise, it went away. Going through the process, I got all kinds of questions from the doctor.
I'll never forget being 18 years old, sitting in the doctor's room, and him asking me...
"Do you drink alcohol?"
"No."
"Have you ever used any illegal drugs, like cocaine, heroin, or meth?"
"Uh. No."
"Have you had multiple sexual partners?"
"Uh.... No. I've never had sex."
"And you're sure you don't drink alcohol?"
"I'm a pretty boring guy."
At least I felt that way.
He asked these questions because Fatty Liver is usually a symptom of Hepatitis, and he wanted to rule out getting sick due to a wild and crazy party life on the weekends
"Like I said, I lead a low-risk, boring life."
So when the new doctor started asking me similar questions, I just laughed.
"Have you ever snorted coke?"
"No."
"Have you ever injected heroin?"
"No."
"Have you ever solicited a prostitute?"
"Heh. No. Not at all"
And I found myself repeating my famous words from ten years ago.
"I'm a pretty boring guy."
The doctor thinks it is fatty liver, and that weight loss will help. He also wants me to avoid alcohol for the next three months. I don't drink much, but he wants to make sure this isn't a cause.
He said the same thing my primary doctor has said: "Diet and exercise should help."

This is where my back issues come into play.

The results from my MRI came back saying that the disc between my L5 and S1 vertebrae is bulging into the nerves of my lower back. Instead of sending me to a specialist, the doctor referred me out for physical therapy, which I started in the afternoon.

I wasn't sure what to expect, this being my first time going to a physical therapist and all, but I expected more questions, which is how my session started out. 

First he wanted to know how long I've had the pain, the location of the pain, how bad the pain was, and all that wonderful stuff. After a deep tissue massage, I had a device strapped on that basically did the same thing an Inversion Table does, without blood rushing to my head. I laid flat on the table, with one belt strapped around my stomach, and the other around my waist, and then the two would separate, lifting pressure from my L5-S1 disc. I sat there for about 30 wishing I had a book with me. 

Afterwards I got some exercises to straighten my core, which will take some of the pressure off my back, give me better posture, and (this is just my hopes) some rock hard abs. 

It all lasts about an hour and a half, by which time I hate everything. But, Michelle keeps reminding me that this will only be for a short while, and the results will last for a long time. I'll try to keep that thought in mind as I'm doing these exercises that borderline on torture.

Adventures

I had my first physical in years on the first of the month. Besides trying to figure out what was going on with my back/kidneys, I had to get an overall checkup, which included blood tests.
All the tests came back good, except for the cholesterol test.
My cholesterol is high.
The plan we started was a three month period where I will try to lower my cholesterol with diet and exercise. If that doesn't help, then I'll have to start taking medication to lower it.
This is one of the many adventures I'm currently taking with my health, which leads me to the one I mentioned in a prior post.

I had my CT scan a week ago. Since it was a Renal Stone Study, there was no prep involved. No fasting, no drinking Volumen an hour prior, and no IV contrast. I showed up, changed into scrubs, and the exam took all of three minutes.
I was told by the tech that I could speak to the radiologist and he could go over the exam with me (one of the perks of working in radiology).
After my courier route, I went back to see the radiologist, and we went over my exam.

Of course, when you get a radiologist's report, it only says whats wrong, so when I speak to the radiologist, I know I will only be told what is seen, but any follow up will have to be with my doctor.

The radiologist said I have no stones, but that my liver and spleen are a little big.
I told him why I was having the exam: the back pain, nausea, multiple urgent care visits, medication, and all around fun. So he checks my spine. The CT scan is mainly checking out my intestines, and isn't that good for checking bone. He still takes a look at spine, and can see that I have a bulging disc. He said he'll write an addendum saying that he'd recommend an MRI to better evaluate my lumbar spine.

I had a follow up appointment with my doctor the following Wednesday. He said he's taking the radiologist's recommendation and ordering an MRI. He also noted the enlarged liver and spleen. This may be a side effect of having high cholesterol, or the reason why it is so high, or really have nothing to do with it whatsoever. Either way, he is referring me to a Gastroenterologist (or G.I. Doctor) to further evaluate it.

So here is the breakdown of my current adventures:

• I will be having an MRI for my lower back to see just how bad my bulging disc it.
  I'm a little nervous, mostly because I've never had one, but since I've worked in radiology for the past five years, I know that some people can handle it and some people can't. You don't know until you are being put in the tube.
• I'll be visiting a G.I. Doctor sometime in December. I got a voicemail from the office with a tentative appointment. I just have to confirm the time, and I'll be visiting another Doctor.
• I've been dieting a little. I need to get back in the habit of visiting the gym on a regular basis. I did get a bike, and once I have a couple more things (at least some lights so I can ride at night, and a jacket to wear in the cold weather) I want to start riding my bike to work. It's only a 20 minute ride there, so I'll just have to plan ahead by waking up earlier and packing a lunch.

My first doctors visit in five-plus years, and I've been back twice, and I expect to be back a lot more. At least I get the chance to read more. Still trying to reach my goal of 10,000 pages read in one year. Had a bit of a slump in the middle of summer, but I hope to finish strong by the end of the year.

Otherwise, there's always 2014!